Platinum Rings & Chicken Wire

K. walks up to me. He is still a crackhead, and is thinner than ever. His body is really small and skinnny, making his head and eyes seem abnormally large. He looks really sheepish, and we greet each other a little shyly, as it has been a long time since we have last seen each other. I reassure him, and we hold hands as we walk together, talking about whatever. We tell each other that we love each other, and he fades away.

I'm on a beach with M. He is looking at me sweetly, and hands me a box. I open it, and there's a ring case. I open the case, and there's this beautiful platinum ring with a honkin' diamond in it. It has thin squares with one dot in the opposite corners of them, and they sit side by side by the diamond. It sparkles, but it lacking luster in the light that I'm in. I look at him, and we kiss, rolling around on the sad, and I say "yes, yes, yes!" I'm just about to move to make it shimmer in the sunlight, when a friend waves to me. I hold up my hand and point at the ring. She starts screaming, and we run to the water together. I try to swim, but the water is shallow, and I start putting little scratches in the band. I run back up to M., and then I realize that he's married, and has a little girl with his wife. I am perplexed, and I ask him why he would ask me to marry him when he's already commited to someone. He looks embarassed, and told me that it was his dad's idea (interesting part of the dream - I think of his dad, and can imagine him in this green hospital scrub type outfit - I'm imagining someone in my dream while I'm still looking at M... very cool) He tells me that perhaps it's best if I don't tell anyone, and I say that with the ring, it's impossible, cuz one of my friends noticed in 2.3 seconds (I know that I told her, and feel guilty for saying it, but I'm a little caught off guard) I tell him that he doesn't have to marry me if he just wants to be lovers, cuz I think that he's fine, and would be happy to sneak around with him. I open up the box that the rings were in. There's nail polish in a bunch of different shades, some trinkety type things, and a poem that he thought reminded him of me.

Now I'm running down a gravel path, underneath some kind of a skytrain track. We're trying to find a safe place to make out, but his wife has found out, and now her, and her friends are chasing us. I climb this chicken wire, and hang on more wire underneath the track as this man runs underneath me, not noticing me at first. Then, he sees me. I drop in front of him, and offer to pay him, until I realize that he's running from something too. We run, into the undergrowth. I remember the texture of the gravel, how bare the ground was where the grass had been worn away from tires & feet.

Houseboats & Cancer

I am hanging out with these guys over at this house. It's mid afternoon, and it feels like the SouthWest, what with the dust motes in the sunbeams, and the way the sunshine is hitting the polished wood around me. I am up in this room with who I assume is my boyfriend, and we're beginning to have sex. We get interrupted by his dad, who doesn't leave like a normal person, but just stares at us disapprovingly until we stop & get dressed.

I can hear a baby crying. It's insistent, and it sounds like it's very upset. As the fog of sleep parts, I think that it may be SiskaC. I listen intently, and indeed, it is my cat meowing frantically. It subsides, and I call her to bed. She comes, and I hold her & pet her for awhile, and have troubles falling back asleep.

Now I'm visiting N. She is living in a houseboat, and wants to show me what it's like. It's large for a one room place, but seems too small of a place to live. A huge white bed dominates the room, and racks & sliding mesh drawers occupy most of the rest of of the space. Spices & foodstuffs fill most of the drawers, and I notice the clevenerness of the design to keep everything from falling out. The windows surround us, and they go all the way past the floor, and curl underneath the bed a bit. The sea is uneasy outside, and I watch it through the glass. Little drops of water are beading against the glass, dark blue, as though someone has dropped food colouring into the sea. She has a cat, and I am petting it. As the sea lurches violently, the kitten is tossed around a bit, and I pet it to help it feel safer. It has a massive lump on its neck, and she tells me that it has cancer. She says that both of the cats do. She points out a second kitten, that's fast asleep in a tiny, but deep basket. She has put a layer of cooked green fettuccini underneath it - I'm not sure if it's for the cat to eat, or to lie on, and I don't ask. She shows me how its paws are kind of curled over each other, and says that it's protecting its cancer. On the bottom of one of its front paws is a sizeable tumor, and indeed, the cat is kind of hiding it from view with its paw. She tells me that she thinks that they picked it up from her friend's cat. She says that it can be passed along through just touching them, and I swiftly withdraw my hands. I ask if I should undress & wash my clothes/body before I touch my own cat, and she gives me a list of things to wash with the sterilize myself, and my clothing. The only thing that stays with me is olive oil, and while I ponder what that would do to my clothes, we leave.

Now, I am with a young man that I am dating. He's good looking in a very swarthy way, with eyes that I fall into as we talk. We're both smiling a lot, and I tell him about N's houseboat. He tells me that he lives on a houseboat too, and pulls me towards the entrance of it. We walk inside, and I am shocked to see how large it is. I go into what I think is a closet, but as I turn to keep exploring, they encourage me to go back into it. I move two brooms out of the way, and walk down the hallway, squealing in delight as I see bedrooms raised up higher than the hallways. Everything has hardwood floor, and is gleaming. There is a definite Victorian style to the houseboat, (but I also have a similar feeling as to when I would be in the basement in my Abby house.) I am yelling at the top of my lungs about how awesome the place is, as I round a corner, and completely startle a man sitting & reading a book. There are shelves from floor to ceiling, and they're packed with books. He's reading a paperback, and looks up at me with interest. I say "You must be his father" and extend my hand while dropping to my knees and apologizing for all the noise. We shake hands, and hug, and he starts showing me around the place, totally delighted. His mother shows me how to posture myself in case of the boat sinking, and we practice a few times... squatting, and then pointing our hands straight up like we'll be diving into the sky. I ask if it counterracts the pressure that occurs when the boat pulls itself into the water, and she sort of half agrees, and half disagrees, but doesn't explain her reasoning to me in the end. I tell them about my sister, and how she wants to buy a barge, and have a communal living situation with punks. I imagine greasy, dirty punks, in little rooms, and it feels like Mad Max to me no matter how I try & envision it.

Wedding Dress by a River

Walking, trying to get somewhere. By a river, there is a flooded area. I start climbing along rocks & fallen logs so that my feet don't get wet. There are a couple people fishing, and couples & families everywhere along the waters' edge. Someone starts walking out on this log that doesn't look like it's going to go anywhere. I peer ahead to see where it's going, and it just branches off into the middle of nowhere, so I decide not to get on it, and take a different route. There are boxes of books & clothes everywhere, and I figure, why not have a look? I find some weird Time Life books, a lot of crappy books, and I wonder if they're The Book Man's books that we dumped by the river?? Then I start finding clothes. I find one box that is full of great stuff - this lovely fuzzy tank top, some fuzzy bras, and a good sports bra that looks to be just about my size. I realize they're all folded inside silk, and it turns out to be a really nice wedding dress, with the tags still on. I decide to take it - at the very least, I can consign it. I head back for the car. Dev. is there, and I try to explain that hey, it's $60 to consign it, so why not take it? Various boxes don't really hold it well, I end up picking one where the edge tears a little bit from the weight of all it's holding.

Later, I walk into a small cafe. Darr. is there, and he's wearing a full denim outfit with a matching denim cowboy hat. We hug, like it hasn't been a couple years since we last saw each other, and start chatting. He asks me why I haven't called him back, and if I'm going to come this weekend.... I realize that everyone I knew was going to this party, and that I didn't think that I was invited... vague recollections of people telling me about it, and me going "yeah,yeah" feeling all awkward cuz I was invited. We laugh....

Heroin & Chapstick Hearts

I am in the bookstore, near the back by the records. In walks Shane, this guy who's mum owns a store down the block from us. He's looking strung out & half dead, and these two junkie-lookin' types are with him. He nods at me, and tries to hand me a package. I shake my head - I don't want it. So, he puts it on the ground, kicks it so it slides right in front of my feet, and says "If you don't keep this safe, you're fuckin' dead." Him & his goons leave. I quickly pick up the package, and look at it - it's wrapped in brown paper, and has crystally sparky green stuff adhering it closed. It's kind of squishy, and right away, I peg it as powdered drugs. I realize that it's heroin, don't ask me how, I just know. I am totally freaked. It's within my realm of consciousness that I am now solely responsible for keeping these drugs safe, away from hard, out of the limelight... and that if I don't, whoever they belong to totally knows I have them, and is holding me fully responsible... my life is on the line.

I know that they have chosen me because I will protect these drugs completely, and make sure that they will be returned safely, with none missing. I am freaked - I don't want to be associated with these, and I curse myself for being so responsible. I realize that I have to get out the bookstore, before somebody realizes that I have them in my hands, and associates them with me... or god forbid, tries to take them.

I leave. I am with two girls that I know, and trust completely. We're driving in an small, grey, and older model car. They're talking rapidly between them, and looking at me funny. It's then that I realize that they know what I have, and I get a weird feeling that they are going to try & take it from me. So, I make them pull over, I punch one of them to get them all weirded out, and run out of the car. I lose them in a neighbourhood, and then end up in a gravel parking lot underneath a huge overpass. Dust is being kicked everywhere as I run from post to post, the burden of my responsibility wearing so heavily on me that I feel like my chest is caving in from panic. I get down on my knees by one of the pillars, and I frantically start digging a hole. The gravel & the soil part like warm butter, and I scoop it away until I have created a decent sized hole. The package is now wrapped in a plastic grocery bag, and I throw it in the hole. I pack gravel around it, and the end of the bag still sticks out. I shove it into the ground, and kick gravel over it until it looks like I was never there. I take a chapstick out of my pocket, and draw a heart, a big heart in gooey, greasy chapstick muck on the bottom of the pole above the heroin package. And then I run.... I don't even know where I am, but I end up in the back yard of what I imagined Mike Smith's house looked like when I was younger.... or maybe it was what it did look like, I can't remember if I was ever really there or not.

Someone has a book that they're not supposed to have. It contains secret information, and I start freaking out, trying to destroy it. I start burning it, pouring water on it, tearing it, trying to destroy it. A little tiny man comes & tries to interfere, tries to take the book out of my hand. I pick him up by his legs & shake him back & forth until I realize that he's made out of greyish-white rubber, at which point I beat him against the wall. I toss him away, screaming & run out of the yard.

I wake up - the alarm clock has gone off, panicky to finish the dream I try to go back to sleep, but have a lazy sex dream... I will never know what happened to the package... it's still buried under the overpass I suppose.

Strawberries & Tomatoes

I am outside of my house, in a garden. Ja's grandma is there, with her cute curly short hair & glasses, and her very British accent. We are looking at my backyard, and everything is slightly hazy like vaseline has been rubbed on our eyeballs. As I look around, I realize that the garden is kind of Eden like, and everything is in full bloom. All of the flowers are either blue or yellow - it's actually been done on purpose, but I don't remember doing this on purpose.... I am quite pleased, and say what a mess it is to clean up when it starts dying on me. For the time being, though, it's beautiful, and we sit quietly, looking at the hyndrangeas & clever rock landscaping. There is a little waterfall falling into a pool. A bee buzzes into the water, and begins to drown - close up on the bee in the water buzzing around. I can see insects in the sunlight around the flowers.

Now, I am on the outside of the garden, walking around the fence. There is a tree, and on it is growing a strawberry - on the side of the trunk. I think that it is very strange, as it's a tomato tree (??) I look over, and notice a tropical looking strawberry shrub-tree growing next to it. They are both heavy with fruit, ripe & fragrant, and their branches are touching each other. They have started to grow each other's fruit, as they are so close to each other. I reach up & pick a tomato, it's very red, soft & a little overripe. I break a strawberry off the same tree, they're growing in clusters together.

Turtle Girl Saves Fish

I'm in a European city, and am part of some kind of a gang. Buc. is in it with me, and we are running from some kind of a rival gang. They're not low class gangs, it's more like the mafia, or something like that. We don't know what the other group of people want, and we don't have the opportunity to ask them, cuz we're so busy hiding out from them, etc. They chase us around the city, and we go into hiding in my apartment. My apartment is huge & outta control swanky, with marble & gleaming faucets, gorgeous art everywhere. The walls are all rich terra cotta hues. I have some weird shed by the sea, and in it is a big freezer, containing two smaller ones. I get very detailed close ups of what is inside the freezers, and refill two ice cube trays with water. There's a white freezie, and I eat it while we are on the run.

All of a sudden, I'm back inside my apartment, but oddly enough, I'm inside a fish tank. I have turned into a turtle, and am having a conversation with this goldfish that lives inside the tank about the people that are looking for us. The goldfish is sorta wise, and has a deep voice. Then I look out the front window onto the street, and notice that two of the rival gang are on the sidewalk. One of them has a gun, and is pointing it at the fishtank through the window. I desperately look around, and notice that there are several cups/containers on the ground around the tank. The gun goes off, the glass shatters. I scoop up water with my turtle paws, and put the fish into a glass... saving its life.

I wake up.